Director: Dario Argento
Writers: Jim Agnew, Sean Keller
Cast: Adrien Brody, Emmanuelle Seigner, Elsa Pataky
MPAA Rating R
Synopsis: A killer is on the loose in Italy. Only an annoying woman and a skinny twerp who smokes too much can save the day.
Review: It's hard to believe Suspiria director Dario Argento is considered a horror legend when he's churning on garbage like the 2009 thriller Giallo. The film is a failure in just about every way imaginable. The characters are entirely unlikable, the performances are shockingly lifeless, and there's absolutely no suspense whatsoever at any point during the story. Not even accidentally. To make matters worse, this woefully misguided thriller sports one of the lamest endings in recent memory. Insult to injury: The bit in the parking garage feels tacked-on and completely unnecessary. If you're going to end a movie this way, at least have the balls to follow through with it. Adrien Brody reportedly attempted to block the film's release in the US after producers failed to pay him around $640,000. Sadly, the movie looks it was made for a lot less than that. Giallo will probably be the last modern Argento movie I'll watch. I've lost faith in the man, and that's a damn shame. If you're curious, it's on Netflix streaming right now.
Recipe For Disaster: Adrien Brody's Tough Guy Persona + Emmanuelle Seigner + All of the Elements that Make TV Movies So Dreadful