May 05, 2009
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I didn't even know he could read.
After suffering through the truly abysmal 2009 vampire action extravaganza Against the Dark earlier this year, I was beginning to wonder if my favorite aikido bulldog Steven Seagal was starting to slip back into his old ways. Thankfully, Jeff King's generic revenge saga Driven to Kill (aka Ruslan) finds the big guy getting back to basics, though, once again, I doubt the film will convert those cynical individuals who believe that Seagal is nothing more than a relic who enjoys going through the motions and collecting a paycheck. The story is certainly nothing to get excited about -- a former Russian mobster-turned-crime novelist violently pursues the goons responsible for an attack on his lovely young daughter -- and the acting might cause last night's leftovers to rise into the back of your throat, but King's penchant for unchecked absurdity and random, bloody fist fights helps ease this jagged suppository into your reluctant cinematic rectum. Seagal, who actually appears to have hit the gym once or twice before filming, stumbles blindly around his faux Russian accent, practically abandoning it altogether by the time the story's eye-gouging finale rolls around. Despite itself, Driven to Kill is solid entertainment -- for undiscerning parties only. It's easily on par with the thoroughly enjoyable Urban Justice, another film which finds Seagal portraying a thuggish, unlikable jerk. I'm sure both films were a stretch. Play it again, Steve.
Recipe For Success: One Ridiculously Simple Script + Seagal Running For A Few Seconds + Pointless, Non-Stop Action
Note To Future Directors: If you don't mind, please void close-ups of Seagal's face in your low-budget, direct-to-video productions.
Nobody wants to see that.
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