November 03, 2008
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Stick your finger inside the dead girl.
As I gather my poorly-worded thoughts regarding Robby Henson's convoluted 2008 genre effort House, I find that my opinion of the picture tends to shift drastically depending on how much thought I put into the experience. On the surface, Henson's wonky head game comes across as a solid haunted house tale involving two dysfunctional couples, a creepy house in the middle of nowhere, and lots of inner demons. The premise itself is surprisingly functional, that is, until you start peeling back the layers and peering beneath the proverbial skin. Once everything has been taken into consideration, you'll quickly discover that House is an intentionally confusing cinematic derailment, due in part to its shaky, second-rate script and its reliance on some genuinely awful performances from a handful of Hollywood nobodies. Genre veterans Leslie Easterbrook, Bill Moseley, and Michael Madsen, meanwhile, play second fiddle to the pretty faces, spouting reams of generic dialogue while pretending they're not in it for the paycheck. That said, Henson definitely has a knack for atmosphere, though his vision is somewhat muddled by the unfortunate use of bargain basement CGI. If you keep your expectations stuck to the bottom of your shoes, this House might be worth the headache. Good luck to you.
Recipe For Mediocrity: Generic Plotting + Nearly Rotten Performances + Michael Madsen Is The New Steven Seagal
Back Road Tips: If you decide to take a detour, make sure you bring a spare tire or two.
Or, you know, just avoid the detour.
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