When a friend called yesterday to ask if I'd heard rumors that Sling Blade star Billy Bob Thornton had been cast as Freddy Kruger in the upcoming remake of Craven's iconic Nightmare on Elm Street, I actually found myself at a complete loss for words. Was it because I thought Thornton was wrong for the role? Not at all. Perhaps I was merely overwhelmed by the thought of yet another pointless remake rolling into theaters specifically designed to appease mindless teenagers tapping endlessly on expensive cellular phones. That would at least make sense, right? As my clouded little mind began tossing around the reasons why I was totally indifferent to this incredibly interesting news, it suddenly became painfully clear: I am no longer a horror fan. While I do still enjoy the occasional blood-soaked horror/comedy or a nifty slice of edgy foreign terror, American horror doesn't have the appeal it once had. I'm not as forgiving as I used to be, prompting yours truly to question why, exactly, I continue to waste my precious time on films I really couldn't care less about. Kind of strange, I think, considering how much I loved the genre. Here's hoping something snappy comes along to relight the fire.
However, I'm not holding my breath.