REVIEW: Mother Of Tears
Dario thinks you're stupid.When you stop to consider every single ill-conceived element of legendary director Dario Argento's savagely awful 2007 outing Mother of Tears: The Third Mother -- also known as the final installment of his cherished supernatural trilogy -- it's extremely hard to ascertain which aspect of the film is the absolute worst. Perhaps it's the screenplay by Crocodile scribes Jace Anderson and Adam Gierasch, two of the absolute worst screenwriters currently working in the business. Why Argento decided to rub elbows with these two morons is anyone's guess, especially when the stench of Rats and Derailed follows them around wherever they go. And while this theory does seem to float when tossed in a bucket of distilled spring water, you can't lay the proverbial blame solely upon them. Asia Argento, dream girl of just about every sex-starved, genre-loving weirdo on the planet, proves once again why no one bothers to cast her in legitimate productions. Not only does she have the personality of a skinned tuna, her abilities as an actress can only be described as elementary. However, even if Asia were God's gift to the hills of Hollywood, the incredibly poor special effects -- both physical and computer-generated -- leave much to be desired. When you factor all of these squishy variables into this vibrant cinematic equation, the answer becomes brutally clear. The problem isn't the mindless script, the shaky acting, or the cheap effects -- it's Dario Argento. The man, I'm afraid, has lost his touch, misplaced his genius. Mother of Tears is a lazy supernatural soap opera, at best, an unfortunate conclusion to what could have been a monumental final chapter. Way to go, Dario.
Recipe For Disaster: Asia Argento + One Nonsensical Script + Bargain Basement Special Effects
Wait A Second: Maybe this film was directed by WARIO Argento. That would explain a lot, I think.
Wario. I really hate that guy.
4 Comments:
You know, I may have to turn in my horror geek card after this, but I just never really fell in love with Argento's work like everyone seems to think you're supposed to. I liked Suspiria all right, but by and large his stuff just seemed nonsensical and not very engaging to me. Yeah, I get that he's got an eye for visuals and his compositions and colors and blah blah blah, but all that stuff has to be around a MOVIE, with a PLOT, right?
Of course I love Jean Rollin's stuff, so I guess there's no accounting for taste.
Anyway, I like Asia. Not the greatest actress, perhaps, but for me she doesn't have to be. :)
To hear someone talk about MOTHER OF TEARS like this upsets me greatly. No because I thought it was going to be good, but because I wanted it too be good so badly.
I thought I loved Argento, but it seems, with each movie I've seen after SUSPRIRIA, THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE and DEEP RED, I've been less and less impressed.
Oh well...
Mother of Tears, I'm sorry to say, is a complete disappointment. However, I should have expected as much, since his recent output has been anything but watchable.
Suspiria, while entertaining, certainly has its share of problems. That said, I'm a pretty big fan of the film, though I've only recently come to appreciate its charms as well as its faults.
I enjoy Suspiria once every few years around Halloween. It's not perfect, but it's kind of creepy and fun.
I've been putting off watching this movie because I figured it would suck... I don't think I've seen anything that Dario directed his daughter in that I have liked. I don't dislike Asia, but I am pretty sure they should not work together.
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