He always leaves the teenagers weeping.Before you and your simple-minded friends sit down with Dolph Lundgren's deeply enjoyable 2007 action extravaganza Missionary Man, pose this elementary question to everyone in the room: Would you like to watch a low-budget motion picture which finds our favorite Swedish martial artist preaching Christianity to oppressed Native American children in-between bloody confrontations with a small town's roughneck yokel population? If the answer is a resounding "yes," only then should you proceed. That's not to say Lundgren's third directorial outing is a complete and total wash, mind you, but it doesn't exactly offer up anything hardcore fans haven't seen a zillion times in the countless other direct-to-video vehicles the man has released over the past ten years or so. Innovative it's not. I must admit, however, that Dolph's religious one man army shtick is definitely eye-catching, pairing a mostly silent performance with the kind of charismatic swagger you generally don't see in this sort of mindless production. My only real concerns are a few loose ends, a handful of shaky performances, and the indiscriminate use of slow motion. Other than that, it's clear skies for miles and miles. Missionary Man is a metric ton of Swedish fun, but then again, he is preaching to the converted. Hallelujah!
Recipe For Success: Dolph's Nifty Shades + An Incredibly Gory Third Reel Showdown + White Guys In Bronzer
Rules Of Engagement: Remember to get laid the night before riding out to battle.
I've heard it greatly improves your aim.
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The Film Fiend
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