Sexually frustrated aliens killed the radio star.

Professional goof-off Ted Nicolaou's hilariously cheesy 1992 sci-fi rocker Bad Channels is concrete proof that you don't necessarily need a great premise, great actors, or great special effects to craft a motion picture that will leave a lasting impression on anyone brave enough to experience its awkward charms first-hand. Here's the big idea: One hideously grotesque alien and his clunky robot sidekick kidnap a handful of beautiful women using a former polka station's state-of-the-art AM radio technology. In order to lure these curvy ladies into their miniaturized prisons, our favorite extraterrestrial perverts must hypnotize them with generic early-80's hair metal videos by a slew of bands you've never heard of. Had this life-altering cinematic treasure not been released by the likes of Full Moon Entertainment, methinks my opinion of this incredibly odd little flick would've been drastically different. After all, nobody does camp quite like Charles Band, especially when you have the director of Subspecies at the helm and a score composed and performed by the likes of Blue Oyster Cult blazing across the mono soundtrack. The addition of MTV icon Martha Quinn, of course, is a thin layer of innocent icing on this deliciously naughty cake. If you consider yourself a fan of Bad Channels, by all means, let me know. Because at the moment, I feel a bit lonely. And more than a little moist

Recipe For Success: Bad Metal + Bad Acting + Special Effects That Strangely Resemble Floam

Full Moon And You: If you so desire, feel free to snag a copy of Full Moon Classics, Vol. 1 at your favorite local retailer.

You can use that copy of Arcade to scratch your ass.
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3 Spasms:

The Vicar of VHS said...

Oh, I had such a Quinn crush back in the day...I'm sure re-watching this movie would fan the cinders to a fresh blaze, too.

Like most horror fans with a Hastings rental account in the early to mid 90s, I subsisted on a steady diet of Full Moon videos. I'd like to revisit them all someday, but I'm not sure I want to drop the cash to buy them, as even at the time they were forgettable, disposable, good-natured cheese.

Wait, what am I saying? That's an argument FOR buying them! :)

December 17, 2007 at 11:10 AM  
The Film Fiend said...

The video store I frequented as a kid always stocked the latest Full Moon releases, minus Oblivion and its sequel Backlash. Turns out I wasn't missing too much.

If you still own a VCR, you can find a lot of these gems on VHS listed throughout Amazon's Z-Shops for next to nothing. For example, the aforementioned Backlash is currently selling for a minimum of 32 cents. What a steal...?

December 17, 2007 at 4:08 PM  
The Vicar of VHS said...

Oh, I'm always trolling for old-format movies. I'm the Vicar of VHS, after all! :) I'm sure if I ever run across one of these when I'm in the mood to spend, I'll end up with the whole Full Moon collection and be able to watch the Video Magazine segments for the entire run. It's a dream, anyway.

December 17, 2007 at 5:00 PM