February 27, 2007
|
Feed my Frankenstein.During those long family vacations we took when I was but a wee lad, my dad would always wax humorous by remarking, "Hey! If I hit that old woman, how many points do I get?" I always thought this was a pretty fun game, and I'd give my father outrageous scores for some pretty off-color targets. Little did I know this demented way of passing time during uber-long extended road trips originated from a very demented Roger Corman opus by the name of Death Race 2000. What can I say? I'm a sheltered bastard with no life. Who knew?
Thanks to Corman's deal with the Devil (aka DISNEY), I've discovered what will probably become one of my all-time favorite "guilty pleasures." Paul Bartel's crazy camp classic is pure undeniable fun, one that I'm ashamed to have ignored for so long. How do these movies get by me? Why isn't everyone talking about Death Race 2000? Oh, what a wonderful world it would be if everyone loved B-movies. What a glorious human race we could become...
Anyway, the world-famous Death Race 2000 tells the timeless tale of five competitive drivers, namely Machine Gun Joe, Calamity Jane, Matilda the Hun, Nero the Hero, and the ever-so mysterious Frankenstein, willing participants in a no-holds-barred cross-country race filled with senseless violence and lots of gratuitous nudity. Fan favorite is Frankenstein (David Carradine), a man who claims to have been ripped apart and put back together again after several near-fatal collisions, piece by bloody piece. It mind of goes without saying that this guy is my hero.
Also along for the ride is hot blonde navigator Annie Smith, Frankenstein's new partner, though she may end up being much more than she initially appears. You see, there's a group of anti-race nutjobs who will stop at nothing to put an end to this ultra-violent competition, and their sights are set on the suave Mr. Stein. Will ol' Franky fall for the woman who may or not be putting his life in jeopardy? Will Machine Gun Joe have that rage-induced aneurysm he's working towards? More importantly, who will survive to become Death Race 2000's ultimate champion?
To be honest, I didn't expect to love this movie as much as I do right now. Not being a huge Roger Corman fan, I thought I'd get a few hearty chuckles out of it, nothing more. Thankfully, Paul Bartel and company have crafted a crude, mean-spirited,monster of a race movie, jam-packed with the B-Grade silliness you've come to expect from Roger Corman. All of the characters are live-action cartoons, from the trigger-happy Machine Gun Joe to the super-creepy Frankenstein, their paper-thin backstories breezy and uncomplicated.
To put a finer point on it, we like who we're supposed to like, and we hate who we're supposed to hate. Because there's no intrusive arcs, no sweeping dramatic moments, Bartel assaults us with one explosive situation after another. Though this technique could've become stale and quite repetitive, the film's willingness to shock your socks off with a handful of over-the-top performances keep the proceedings from getting too tired too quickly.
Since this is a Roger Corman production, one isn't looking to be wowed with heart-stopping performances from a cast of A-list Hollywood players. No, what we're after are Camp & Cheese flavored portrayals of flamboyant, unrealistic individuals in nonsensical situations. Why, that's David Carradine's specialty! His performance as Frankenstein is brilliant; though he's a sneaky, sinister kind of guy, you can't help but like him. Not only does he get all the chicks a man could possibly want, but he drives the coolest car and walks around in a black vinyl outfit complete with a identity-shielding mask and a long flowing cape. How impossibly retro cool is that?
However, one shouldn't overlook Sylvester Stallone as Machine Gun Joe and Martin Kove's short-lived appearance as Nero the Hero. Toss in some so-so actresses who don't mind showing some skin and you've got yourself the ingredients for a good time. Or an entertaining 80 minutes, at least.
One aspect of the movie that really surprised me was the sheer amount of carnage on-screen. Sure, I expected a movie featuring a race centered around murdering pedestrians for points to be a bit on the bloody side, but the kills themselves are often beyond cruel and most unusual. People are crushed, impaled, broken, beaten, squashed -- if you can do it with a car, it's in there. My jaw dropped on more than one occasion, followed immediately by a good healthy laugh. Since the atmosphere never gets heavy and the story refuses to be taken seriously, the violence exists solely for a quick gasp-and-laugh. Fine by me.
Death Race 2000 is destined for repeat viewings in this film geek's household. While I'm sure my wife will complain about seeing David Carradine's love handles for the hundredth time, I doubt that will keep me from watching it again two hours later. This is what B-movies are all about: senseless violence, pointless nudity, kooky characters, and larger-than-life situations filled with madness and mayhem. It's worth picking up if you're into movies of this nature, and I even recommend it to those who find themselves watching Sci-Fi Channel original movies when no one is looking. Special recommendations are in order for those who played this game with your family during long summer vacations.
Would you look at that! I just got 50 points for Martin Scorsese.
0 Spasms:
Post a Comment