Wrong Turn At Tahoe (2009) Director: Franck Khalfoun Writer: Franck Khalfoun Cast: Cuba Gooding Jr., Harvey Keitel, Miguel Ferrer MPAA Rating: R
Synopsis: After bumping off a rival drug dealer, a tough-as-nails collector finds himself in the middle of a gang war.
Thoughts: Despite a number of moderately enjoyable action sequences, Franck Khalfoun's "Wrong Turn at Tahoe" is, unfortunately, a cinematic dud. The blame should fall directly upon Cuba Gooding Jr.'s shoulders; not once did I buy his tough guy shtick, though his attempts do provide plenty of unintentional entertainment. Keitel and Ferrer, meanwhile, seem rather bored and unimpressed with the whole affair.
Recipe For Disaster: Cuba Gooding Jr. + Tired, Predictable Plot + Ferrer And Keitel Could Do This Stuff in Their Sleep
The Tournament (2009) Director: Scott Mann Writers: Gary Young, Jonathan Frank, & Nick Rowntree Cast: Robert Carlyle, Kelly Hu, Ving Rhames MPAA Rating: R
Synopsis: A wayward priest unexpectedly finds himself in the middle of a bloody, free-for-all tournament featuring the world's deadliest mercenaries.
Thoughts: Scott Mann's feature-length debut The Tournament is easily this year's guiltiest pleasure. The film is equal parts Battle Royale, Mean Guns, and The Running Man, packed to the proverbial rafters with inspired set pieces, gore-encrused gunplay, and several over-the-top performances. Carlyle clearly steals the show, though Kelly Hu clocks in at a close second. Morally bankrupt but oh-so much fun.
Recipe For Success: Tons of Incredible Action + Robert Carlyle + More Exploding Humans Than You Could Ever Need
Moon (2009) Director: Duncan Jones Writers: Duncan Jones & Nathan Parker Cast: Sam Rockwell, Kevin Spacey, Dominique McElligott MPAA Rating: R
Synopsis: Towards the end of his solitary three-year stint on the moon, Astronaut Sam Bell suddenly discovers that he is not alone.
Thoughts: Talented writer/director Duncan Jones' Moon is fueled by one of most intriguing, thought-provoking sci-fi concepts I've seen in a while. Unfortunately, neither he nor co-writer Nathan Parker really know what to do with it, resulting in an extremely disappointing finale that lacks the power and promise of its premise. Sam Rockwell, on the other hand, is extraordinary. His performance alone is worth a look.
Recipe For Success: Sam Rockwell + Kevin Spacey's Version of HAL + Did I mention Sam Rockwell? Oh, and Sam Rockwell
Jennifer's Body (2009) Director: Karyn Kusama Writer: Diablo Cody Cast: Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Johnny Simmons MPAA Rating: R
Synopsis: After attending a concert by a shady local band, Needy begins to suspect there's something wrong with her best friend Jennifer.
Thoughts: Surprisingly, Aeon Flux director Karyn Kusama's witty horror/comedy Jennifer's Body is one of the stronger theatrical horror titles released this year. The dialogue is whip-smart -- thanks to Juno mastermind Diablo Cody -- and the chills are plentiful. What's even more impressive is that I didn't want to violently throttle Megan Fox by the end of the picture. The genre's answer to Mean Girls.
Recipe For Success: Amanda Seyfried + Diablo Cody's Humorous Script + Even Megan Fox Is Halfway Decent
Command Performance (2009) Director: Dolph Lundgren Writers: Steve Latshaw & Dolph Lundgren Cast: Dolph Lundgren, Melissa Ann Smith, Hristo Shopov MPAA Rating: R
Synopsis: A tough-as-nails drummer must save the Russian Premier and a cutesy pop star from a band of vicious terrorists.
Thoughts: While his contemporaries continue to languish in the direct-to-video mire, Dolph Lundgren just keeps getting better and better. Command Performance is easily his strongest picture as both a writer, director, and star, far surpassing his 2005 effort The Mechanik. The plot essentially boils down to "Die Hard at a rock concert," but the film's rapid pace and Dolph's solid direction help mask the borrowed ideas.
Recipe For Success: Dolph Lundgren + Tons of Blood-Soaked Gunplay + Who Knew Smoking Pot Could Save Your Life?
Ink (2009) Director: Jamin Winans Writer: Jamin Winans Cast: Chris Kelly, Jessica Duffy, Quinn Hunchar MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Synopsis: When a little girl is kidnapped by a mysterious character known only as Ink, a band of otherworldly heroes must fight to save her life.
Thoughts: Writer/director Jamin Winans Ink is structured very much like a fairytale, one that dabbles heavily in foul language, stylized martial arts, and unnerving character design. It reminded me of Alex Proya's Dark City, a film I hold in very high regard. And while some of the performers do stumble from time to time, the overall experience is beyond rewarding. Highly recommended.
Recipe For Success: Impressive Visuals + A Heartfelt Script + Guys Who Smile Constantly Are Insanely Creepy
As you can tell, I haven't had much time to devote to The Film Fiend as of late, and, I'm sorry to announce, I doubt that's going to change anytime soon. Between writing full-time for Bloody Good Horror and Beyond Hollywood, attempting to finish my next novel, spending time with my lovely wife, and the promise of a new job, I just don't have the time this site needs or deserves. Am I going to shut it down entirely? Not quite. The Film Fiend will stay just as it is: Lifeless, but intact. Occasionally, when time permits, I'll stop by and drop off a new review or a trailer I've found to be interesting, but other than that, the site is officially defunct until further notice. Feel free to stop by Beyond Hollywood or Bloody Good Horror to see what I'm up to. Or, if you wish, drop by Facebook and add me as a friend. Once again, this is by no means the end of the site as a whole -- I'm just taking a break from trying to keep this place up-to-date whilst I dance merrily through greener pastures. Huge thanks to everyone who keeps stopping by, the filmmakers who have sent me screeners, and the mountain of fools who have left a barrage of colorful comments. You made all the hard work worthwhile. Oh, and if I still owe you reviews, check out the aforementioned sites, as all of my reviews are being published there. "Bricolage" in 2010, y'all.
According to a few intriguing articles I've read online, Adam Wingard's 2007 psychedelic horror head game Pop Skull has been scientifically designed to scare the unholy bejesus out you. The technique is not unlike those sneaky "jump scare" videos found on YouTube, the ones that abruptly end with a loud noise and a moderately scary image. It's an interesting gimmick, to be sure, and it often works to great effect. Unfortunately, the rest of this plodding little film isn't nearly as engaging or amusing. The story focuses on a sad, pathetic, pill-popping loser as he attempts to put his life back together after a particularly painful break-up with his girlfriend, an event which is chronicled via the main character's painfully wimpy narration. It's emo horror for the emotionally deranged, filtered through the cluttered mindscape of someone who's spent a lot of time watching Aphex Twin videos and studying the work of Harmony Korine. Visually speaking, the film is well-executed, though anyone prone to epileptic seizures should probably avoid this one altogether. Flashing lights, quick cuts, weird distortions, and rapid color alterations abound, inducing a particularly dull headache right behind my left eye. If physical discomfort and endless whining sounds like fun, Pop Skull was crafted with you in mind. Just don't complain to me if you swallow your tongue.
Recipe For Mediocrity: A Few Decent Scares + Too Much Pining And Whining + Is This Really A Horror Movie?
Important Suburban Rules: Whatever you do, don't keep your spare house keys hidden in your yard.
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