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Berberian Sound Studio (2012)
Director: Peter Strickland
Writer: Peter Strickland
Cast: Toby Jones, Antonio Mancino, Guido Adorni
MPAA Rating: R
Synopsis: A mild-mannered sound engineer heads to Italy to work on a very graphic horror movie. It doesn't take long for the flick to start messing with his mind.
Thoughts: I'm sure a lot of people will think that I completely missed the point of writer/director Peter Strickland's Berberian Sound Studio, and perhaps they're right. The movie is a slow, plodding, and frequently boring mess that desperately wants horror nerds to think it's a deep, cerebral experience. Sure, the sound design is spot-on and Toby Jones is wonderful as always, but Strickland does absolutely nothing with all the atmosphere and tension he creates. I stuck with the flick till the bitter end in hopes that all of this nonsense was building towards something profound. Unfortunately, all you're going to get is a movie for sound design aficionados and people who indiscriminately consume experiences that are mistakenly labeled as Lynchian. Berberian Sound Studio is one of the biggest disappointments I had in 2013. If you're one of the people who recommended this movie to me, then don't bother suggesting anything else.
Recipe For Disaster: A Heaping Helping of Cinematic Pretension + One Wasted Performance by Toby Jones + Confusion for the Sake of Confusion is Always Boring
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Open Grave (2013)
Director: Gonzalo Lopez-Gallego
Writer: Chris Borey, Eddie Borey
Cast: Sharlto Copley, Joseph Morgan, Thomas Kretschmann
MPAA Rating: R
Synopsis: A man wakes up in the middle of nowhere inside a mass grave filled the bodies. To make matters worse, he has no idea who he is. Enlightenment soon follows.
Thoughts: I don't have a very high opinion of cinematic horror these days, which is why I walked into Open Grave with serious reservations. Much to my surprise, this taut little thriller is easily one of the best genre flicks I've encountered all year. The whole memory loss angle isn't anything new, but Gonzalo Lopez-Gallego and the Boreys do a fine job making this plot device seem fresh and exciting. As always, Sharlto Copley is spot-on. Watching the guy work is always a blast, especially when he gets to dive into roles that aren't as over-the-top as his work in District 9 and Elysium. The final shot of the movie lingers in your brain for days, though I'm crossing my fingers that the filmmakers don't try to force a sequel on us. Open Grave ends right where it needs to, and a follow-up would simply cheapen the overall experience. If you have an opportunity to see this on the big screen, don't hesitate for a second. It's razor sharp.
Recipe For Success: One Extremely Well-Written Script + Sharlto Copley + A Memory Loss Movie That Doesn't Treat the Audience Like Morons
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Skin Traffik (2014)
Director: Ara Paiaya
Writers: Adam Davidson, Ara Paiay
Cast: Gary Daniels, Eric Roberts, Jeff Fahey
Release Date: N/A
Synopsis: What does a jaded hit man do when he sinks into the world of human trafficking? He kicks a lot of very bad people right in the face.
First Impressions: It's always a good day when you discover that another Gary Daniels movie is coming down the pipeline. Not only do you get Daniels, Roberts, and Fahey, moviegoers are also treated to the cinematic stylings of Mickey Rourke, Michael Madsen, Daryl Hannah, and Dominique Swain. Look for the flick to arrive next year.
Legendary - Tomb of the Dragon (2013)
Director: Eric Styles
Writer: Andy Briggs
Cast: Scott Adkins, Dolph Lundgren, Yi Huang
MPAA Rating: N/A
Synopsis: There's something munching on folks in the wilds of China. Scott Adkins wants to capture and study it, Dolph Lundgren wants to shoot it in the face.
Thoughts: I'd heard a lot of bad things about Eric Styles' Legendary - Tomb of the Dragon before I finally got an opportunity to sit down and check it out. Although I was severely disappointed that Adkins and Lundgren don't stylishly punch each other in the face at any point in the flick, the movie itself was surprisingly enjoyable. The effects are a little wonky and the pacing is off, but altogether Legendary is a solid creature feature powered by some genuinely entertaining performances that elevate this thing above the sort of dreck SyFy pumps out on a regular basis. Adkins and Lundgren are the reasons to watch, though everyone on-board does a good job with their respective roles. I would have loved a much more convincing monster, but at the end of the day, Legendary - Tomb of the Dragon was an enjoyable 90-minute waste of my precious time. If they moved forward with the sequel teased at the end of the feature, I wouldn't mind at all.
Recipe For Succes: A Chance To See Adkins and Lundgren Act + Characters You Care About + Styles and Briggs' Attempt to Make a Monster Movie Grounded in Reality
The Vampire Raiders (1988)
Director: Godfrey Ho
Writer: Godfrey Ho
Cast: Martin Dukes, Walter Jackson, Chris Peterson
Release Date: March 1988 (West Germany)
Synopsis: There are ninjas, and there are vampires. Sometimes they fight one another. Also -- girls in various stages of undress. Sometimes they're ninjas too.
Why You Should Watch: There's nothing quite like a Godfrey Ho movie, and this has to be one of the guy's best (read: worst). The vampires are outrageously goofy, the ninjas are pathetic, and there's an odd subplot involving switchboard operators who often make fun of their boss behind his back. In other words -- It's a Godfrey Ho movie!
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